It may be Friday now, but Monday’s looming. I wonder how many of us will call in sick? How many of us will call in sick and use these (ridiculous) excuses…

“My toe is stuck in the tap.”

We’ve all done it – got our thumb stuck in scissor handles, tried on a ring in a shop which is too small or got stuck trying on clothes and having to call for help from the changing rooms with your arms at obscure angles, but what happens when you get your body parts stuck to something in the house and no matter how much you’ve tried to work your way out, you’re still lodged and unable to leave the house? Who in their right mind thinks a tap looks like suitable footwear anyway?

“My gran’s died.” Again.

Employers take the death of a family member very seriously and ensure you do not return to work until you’re ready, but when you phone in on a Monday morning saying you’re grandma’s died and show up the following day as you’re usual, bubbly self – you’re busted. Another one when it comes to death of family members – you’ll most probably be caught out if your employer finds out your grandma’s died three times that year.

“My hair dye went wrong.”

Ladies, the majority of us know what can happen if you want to become a blonde but you’re a brunette. Attempting this at home and on a Sunday night when your workplace does not allow you to wear a hat isn’t the smartest of ideas.

“My dog’s ill.”

“I have a poorly tum” or even worse: “my dog has a poorly tum”. Taking time off to take your poorly pet to the vets – maybe, but taking the day off to babysit your ‘poor baby’?

“My uniform doesn’t fit me.”

We’re all partial to a weekend take-away, but when you gorge so much that come Monday your uniform which fit you three days earlier no longer fits you, you know you’ve overdone it a bit.